Sunday, October 24, 2010

Past, Present, Future Pie

I've been making a concerted effort to be right where I am lately. There have been moments these past few months, even moments that I would normally classify as difficult ones, when I have just been scrubbing, or swabbing, or wrestling or reading and felt completely present and, in retrospect, content.   Chatting in the halls at church today one of the young brethren mentioned his attempts at what he called Zen Eating.  Just really being in the moment of the food, the eating, the dinner. I liked this idea and thought  I might try it but I got to thinking a bit more about this. You see, while living through the days  I am often informed by the past and my hopes for the future.  It is almost like every bite of apple pie reminds me of all the pies of the past, where I ate them, when I ate them and  with whom.  The flavor is richer for it.  Also each morsel carries with it the possibility of maybe never having a pie this good again and that intensifies my appreciation for the pie I've got in front of me.  After all, it could be my last.    This is Past Present Future eating at its best. 

But the very real risk  in the comparison with the past and future pies is that you miss the pie you are actually eating and miss out on the delicious gratitude that can accompany it while you dwell on what was and feel anxiety about what might be.  Considering this, Zen Eating, as a practice, seems like, if nothing else, a useful way to avoid disappointment and anxiety. 

Then I started wondering why my own faith (I'm a mormon...yes I am)  didn't readily offer a way to eat a slice of pie.  I think it does and I will call it Eating By The Spirit.   One of my favorite, and uniquely mormon scriptures says, "For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round"(1 Ne. 10: 19). 

I think the mysteries of God might actually be found in the flavors of life and in this scripture there is an implication that we can learn to savor  the present moment by considering the past and future moments.  And what comfort food to allow that if you don't get it in this moment that in God's time we go round eternally and have so many chances to taste of it.  I also consider that "His paths are strait" or in other words there is this small and perfect space where those mysteries reside.  So how do I eat in this perfect space in time without dwelling too much in the past or in the future?  Well, according to this "by the power of the Holy Ghost". 

So while I eat, or live, or whatever, I just need to be looking (diligently seeking) for the flavors (mysteries of God) and those can be from any moment in time( one eternal round). And, from my experience when I stay open (soft heart) to this strange and almost ridiculous idea that some unseen spirit (Holy ghost) can reveal the mysteries to me life tastes sweet and I feel a part of every moment...

Ric Estrada life snapshot from Seth Estrada on Vimeo.



and future.

Now that is good pie.

*I obtained the slideshow shown at my Father's funeral from my brother's website. He put the slide show together and is in post-production on a whole stinking documentary about my dad.  Go check out the website and see if there is any way you could help get this film ready and distributed!*


  1. wow Rebekah! It seems like we are all just trying to get through this life, preferably with some meaning. I see more and more of my friends our age really trying to seek a deeper meaning to life. Me included. It seems like some do this earlier in life, or some are inspired by certain events in their life. I think its important to know we all do this! THanks for writing about your thoughts. I gain strength from them. I hope I can go through my soul searching in a pleasing way as you are and just be... a better person. That straight and narrow way is hard to find, but when we are really really trying, sometimes we dont know we are already in it.

    I was wondering if we could be your neighbors in the future! I want a redbarn and green grassy hills next to a stream too. I think because it must be QUIET there. :)

  2. I enjoyed the slideshow. I cried and your mother is so beautiful.
    I ingest a lot of food. I mean a lot of food. But really, I rarely remember to actually taste it and enjoy what's on my plate. I'm so busy worried about how clean my house isn't or how the pillows are arranged on the couch- or what kind of glorious pillows I could someday buy sort-to-speak.
    I think I need this reminder everyday. Before I know it, my Autumn Woods days will be long gone and I will be sitting around wishing I could be there. I think being in the moment is the most sound advice I could receive in this stage of my life. The very best.
    Thanks and I love you.

  3. I love the way you mix Mormon and Zen....Morzen. I think I'll sign up. I also still love and use your Gramma's phrase, "Pick up a broom." I use it often.

    Love to you and yours.

  4. Rebekah, you have just received a "Pertinent Post" blog award, the details are waiting for you in your inbox. :)

  5. Love sharing that Present Pie with you. You "Mor" + me "Zen" = Happy Sis in laws. Thanks for being around... actually, right Here.

  6. hahah! I am commenting something else because... thats what I do. ;)
    I dont watch much TV, but we were watching Better off Ted... Season 2.. episode 6 or 7. I thought of you as the crazy awesome boss lady was keeping her worker in the present by keeping her in pain on occation. I couldnt explain it to justice, but really listening to Chris laughing at something is the real gift there. Silly, but hey, i was thinkn of ya! :)

  7. i am a terrible terrible friend. you know when you're going through your reader, and you're like i have to comment, but then your kids start crying or something...then by the time you get back you forget??? freak. this pictures are more than gorgeous. i want to sit down for tea with you. i hope you are doing so well, and enjoying this holiday season. so much love from abu dhabi to you and yours. xx

  8. whooooooo is your dad? what a lucky girl you are have such an incredible father and such a beautiful family. what a wonderful, yummy, video that is. i can't wait to see the documentary.